This is a great song for all the Mums out there.

Mother's Day

It's before 5.00 on Mothering Sunday and our entire household is awake. We got up early to bid farewell to dear Normie. It was an emotional goodbye on many levels. The girls, especially our second one will miss her dearly. Normie will miss our little boy's good morning scent. Even Sparky gave her his paws to say good-bye!

I know is seems weird that this woman, who is nanny and housemaid to us have become such a fixture, an appendage of our family, an attachment not only to my children but to myself to. We love her to bits. We are blessed indeed and we wish her a safe and wonderful home leave.(And hopes she returns the same!)

On this day that salutes and celebrates mothers, I reflect now on my own journey as one.

I think all the cliches in the world have described what it feels to be a mum, the you'll never feel the same again, it will change your life, you'll fall in love with your children over and over again, etc but I shan't go down the same path.

I chose to have children because I wanted them. Simple. And I have been very blessed with all my three. Even luckier, I have found in my love, the man who wanted them as much as I do, and through some lucky stroke of fate, as though it has been assigned to us, we have have three lovely, good and kind children. He is an amazing Dad which makes me even more blessed! We adore them, and yes, we work very hard at giving them the best we can, but mostly, we love them and they know it as we say it to them and show then every day( at least a few times).

I am also the least fussy mum I know. You won't find usually baby wipes in my handbag, but you'll always find a book! Truly. It's not that I am an irresponsible, unhygienic, careless kinda of mum but I think there are more worrying things about raising a child than to sanitise them all the time.

So they travel with me A LOT. In fact, I was rueing the fact that when I was expecting little T, the airlines won't let me book his tickets yet and wanted some kind of proof of his existence! Hey, isn't a round belly evidence enough???

They have been taken to all kinds of places from lovely kids-friendly resorts to crowded markets, have eaten street food, have been breastfed in public, have had their diapers changed on tables and floors, and all that. I am terrible!

At the same time, the girls have gone with me to a children's home we support in Taman Desa, and they have donated their toys, books and clothes to the children and have seen how the other side lives.

We are the kind of parents who don't worry about their routines being interrupted, and as such, they adapt easily to all kinds of social situations.

I think a little interrupted routine is actually good for kids- it makes them less fussy and more adaptable to all kinds of surroundings and are chilled-out kids. And I let them jump on hotel beds all they want and join them too!

Of course when we travel, we think of the kids' interests at heart, but they have learnt that it's fun to go to museums and other places that Mummy and Daddy like too.
I am adventurous with them regarding food and constantly drum it into their heads that they should be to. So cold noodles, funny fish egg stuff( tobiko and ebiko) and various seafood and all are loved by my kids. We nearly fainted when we asked them what their ultimate favourite foods are- one said 'caviar'( of the Japanese variety) and the other declared 'birdsnest soup' and Little T said 'avocado on toast'. They also love their charkoay teow and wantan mee of course. Their perennial favourite? Daddy's spag bol and Nanna's home cooking.

I may be relaxed about not over-sanitising and I take them on holidays a lot to train them to be adaptable global citizens, and we pray a lot of a family, but I am also a very strict disciplinarian mum.

I use the two-option method often. And it usually works.

" You will put the lolly pop back in the fridge now or stand in the corner/stand outside the front door."

"You can play one game on my iphone or none at all."

" You will practise your piano now or pull out the weeds in the garden.'

"You will each write me a story/or do your Maths when I am in the market or you will not watch Glee again."

"You can choose 3 books each and not get your allowance for the month."

You will learn Mandarin or lose out to billions of native Mandarin speakers in the future.! (says this Mum whose Mandarin is only passable)

So, call me a Nazi, or a plain typical Chinese mum, it works. They know how to hold their own in public, and so far, in my ten years as a mum, I think there has only been a couple of public tantrums, both of which I quashed almost immediately.

They are indeed good children, and I am blessed. As someone once said, life is a tangle of delicious knots on your hair and like most mums, mine is kind of like that.

The best present a mother can receive is when she hears from strangers and people she hardly knows that her children are lovely, well-behaved, polite and gracious. That makes me feel like I've done something right, and I hope it holds its stead as they carry through to their yet to come turbulent teenage years. ( Though a little naughty is good sometimes for it shows character!)

And I will say that all the mum cliches hold water, but let's not forget the women we WERE (and ARE), before we became mums, for if we let that slide, I think it would make us lesser mums, at least that's what I think.

Happy Mother's Day, my fellow comrades!
Salut! For all the unconditional love you give your children!

And S, I and T my beloved sweethearts, I'll always be your mummy and you'll always be my babies!

Right now, I will climb back into bed as who knows, I might just get breakfast served in bed!

My real life 'Avatar'

With Mother's Day around the corner, this week's musings will be dedicated to the women in my life.

Today, I plaited my second daughter's hair despite my busy schedule because our maid was at the Filipina embassy getting her re-entry letter for when she comes home after her three week break. It's Tuesday and it's dance class day for my two girls. And I am also teaching some private classes at home. And my second daughter told me to my face that she feels worried when Tita ( 'aunty' in Tagalog) is not at home. This is how much my children have become dependent on her! And me too!( as I race to do a hundred and one things as day.) Too many ands in one sentence. Too many things for one pair of hands to do.

I am bracing myself for less time on the computer, even less sleep and more time in the kitchen and more housework duties in the coming three weeks. ( But I know I will prevail, as many women the world over survive and bloom without any domestic help, so really, I understand that it is no biggie.)

I am not proud to say that after all these years of having lived-in domestic help, I have been spoilt and have become rather 'incompetent' at simple chores- such as cooking ( not just stirring, or making a sandwich, or adding bits here and there but the whole gamut of preparing whole elaborate meals without anyone's help!), cleaning, laundry, ironing, organising the children's stuff.

Yes, I may proclaim to be the queen of multi-taskers but if not for my wonderful domestic help, I would not have the luxury of spending time on my blog, or writing poetry, or catching up properly with my love, helping him with his business decisions,spending quality time with the children, or marking, or planning the next day's lessons or plannning the next family holiday,or looking good on the side for that matter.

Like the everywoman in Malaysia who works and wishes she wears Prada, I depend on my domestic help for many things. Which makes me look really bad. So, today I will tell you why Normie is my light and my star.

Normie, our darling helper for the last 2 and half years is not your average maid. She had worked in Lebanon for 5 years prior to coming here, and briefly in Hong Kong. She has travelled with her previous employer to London and Paris and have been to their holiday homes in Syria and Turkey. Where she worked before, she was one of 6 maids in a large mansion contained in a housing complex, where to get to the other houses they used golf buggies. Her main job was to look after a 4 year old Arabian prince(spell: brat) and a 55 year old cancer patient and she never had to chance to really talk to her employers.

After the 2006 bombings in Lebanon which left her slightly scarred and frightened, she decided to return to the Philipines. But times were always bad, so she had to venture out again and leave her children and husband behind.

It was really karma or fate that brought Normie into our lives. Our first two helpers had been Indon ladies, and were great, until my second one decided to get knocked up at about the time when I was about to pop with Thomas. We had an 'emergency' third Indon one for three months, one who had been rejected by her previous employer but she did a runner on us at 3 months exactly, so whether it was by design or by chance, we would never find out.

Having gone through a pregnant maid then a runaway Indon within three months of each other, I started praying for a really good Filipina maid. So Normie arrived in our lives about two and a half years ago. And she is godsend in everyway. I could sense her positive vibes even in the long-distanced phone interview.

We love it that she is completely unassuming and allows our family complete privacy as she gets on with her daily duties.

She cooks supremely well, bakes and cleans likes a fiend. She will make Martha Stewart green with envy as she is also a decorator extraordinaire and an ever willing learner. After a couple of lessons, she now makes the most delicious tomyam friend bee hoon, the most delectable Thai salads, and the most authentic Penang assam laksa and is absolutely stunning at table arrangements too, so invaluable for dinner parties and soirees that I frequently host. She also weaves a mean fench braid( so my daughter told me that she looks funny today as mummy's braids are loose and rather untidy), sews like a pro because she has had lessons and used to work in a garment factory too. So we are indeed blessed to have her in many ways.

I presented her with a sewing machine sometime last year so she could make some extra money through her sewing. She has been commissioned by my friends to make fabulous curtains and has even sewn uniforms for my kids (& birthday party outfits) and is proud that she is making extra money while under our employ. She manages her time very well, and we go to mass together on Sundays. My children adore her to bits and have voted her the best 'kakak' ever! I am proud to say that we do have a great relationship.

Her focus is very much on her son and daughter, the sole reason why she became a migrant worker in the first place. She has a fundamentally solid relationship with her family, though I sometimes feel sorry for her whenever a phone-call from the Philippines comes through. More often than not, it is for her to send a portion( or the whole) of her salary home to pay for school fees, uniform, a relative's medical fees or a new computer.

Our family has embraced her with all our hearts, only because she is so selfless and kind in every aspect of her life. She doesn't waste her money on trivialities- no mobile-phone, no makeup, no extras,( though I do spoil her with treats- which she saves all for her family.) She says she has everything she needs right here in our home!

We awarded her a hefty raise (& a bonus) after her first two years as she is worth every cent and more. Like we tell her, she is part of our family and our children love her as a true auntie. As family, she has joined us on hols to Borneo, Australia and Bangkok and she treasures these trips as she knows she too is lucky to be with our family. We appreciate the fact that it is a two-way street, this relationship that we have as employer-employee but sometimes prayer-partners and even 'sisters'.

So this Mother's Day, I salute you, Normita Quentin Deri. You, who are ever calm, smiley and regal, and who carry on stoically for us, so that we have a really comfortable existence. My precious helper, PA, guardian angel. Your preseverence and grace will stay with us always.

Happy Mother's Day, Normie dear and may you have a fabulous one with your daughter, Christine and your son, Norman this coming Sunday. You deserve your break.
We shall miss you for three whole weeks but we will prevail.(Haha) The girls have already shown me today how independent they can be on their own.

We wish you all the happiness in the world and would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts.