It's before 5.00 on Mothering Sunday and our entire household is awake. We got up early to bid farewell to dear Normie. It was an emotional goodbye on many levels. The girls, especially our second one will miss her dearly. Normie will miss our little boy's good morning scent. Even Sparky gave her his paws to say good-bye!
I know is seems weird that this woman, who is nanny and housemaid to us have become such a fixture, an appendage of our family, an attachment not only to my children but to myself to. We love her to bits. We are blessed indeed and we wish her a safe and wonderful home leave.(And hopes she returns the same!)
On this day that salutes and celebrates mothers, I reflect now on my own journey as one.
I think all the cliches in the world have described what it feels to be a mum, the
you'll never feel the same again,
it will change your life,
you'll fall in love with your children over and over again, etc but I shan't go down the same path.
I
chose to have children because I wanted them. Simple. And I have been very blessed with all my three. Even luckier, I have found in my love, the man who wanted them as much as I do, and through some lucky stroke of fate, as though it has been assigned to us, we have have three lovely, good and kind children. He is an amazing Dad which makes me even more blessed! We adore them, and yes, we work very hard at giving them the best we can, but mostly, we love them and they know it as we say it to them and show then every day( at least a few times).
I am also the least fussy mum I know. You won't find usually baby wipes in my handbag, but you'll always find a book! Truly. It's not that I am an irresponsible, unhygienic, careless kinda of mum but I think there are more worrying things about raising a child than to sanitise them all the time.
So they travel with me A LOT. In fact, I was rueing the fact that when I was expecting little T, the airlines won't let me book his tickets yet and wanted some kind of proof of his existence! Hey, isn't a round belly evidence enough???
They have been taken to all kinds of places from lovely kids-friendly resorts to crowded markets, have eaten street food, have been breastfed in public, have had their diapers changed on tables and floors, and all that. I am terrible!
At the same time, the girls have gone with me to a children's home we support in Taman Desa, and they have donated their toys, books and clothes to the children and have seen how the other side lives.
We are the kind of parents who don't worry about their routines being interrupted, and as such, they adapt easily to all kinds of social situations.
I think a little interrupted routine is actually good for kids- it makes them less fussy and more adaptable to all kinds of surroundings and are chilled-out kids. And I let them jump on hotel beds all they want and join them too!
Of course when we travel, we think of the kids' interests at heart, but they have learnt that it's fun to go to museums and other places that Mummy and Daddy like too.
I am adventurous with them regarding food and constantly drum it into their heads that they should be to. So cold noodles, funny fish egg stuff( tobiko and ebiko) and various seafood and all are loved by my kids. We nearly fainted when we asked them what their ultimate favourite foods are- one said 'caviar'( of the Japanese variety) and the other declared 'birdsnest soup' and Little T said 'avocado on toast'. They also love their charkoay teow and wantan mee of course. Their perennial favourite? Daddy's spag bol and Nanna's home cooking.
I may be relaxed about not over-sanitising and I take them on holidays a lot to train them to be adaptable global citizens, and we pray a lot of a family, but I am also a very strict disciplinarian mum.
I use the
two-option method often. And it usually works.
" You will put the lolly pop back in the fridge now or stand in the corner/stand outside the front door."
"You can play one game on my iphone or none at all."
" You will practise your piano now or pull out the weeds in the garden.'
"You will each write me a story/or do your Maths when I am in the market or you will not watch Glee again."
"You can choose 3 books each and not get your allowance for the month."
You will learn Mandarin or lose out to billions of native Mandarin speakers in the future.! (says this Mum whose Mandarin is only passable)
So, call me a Nazi, or a plain typical Chinese mum, it works. They know how to hold their own in public, and so far, in my ten years as a mum, I think there has only been a couple of public tantrums, both of which I quashed almost immediately.
They are indeed good children, and I am blessed. As someone once said, life is a tangle of delicious knots on your hair and like most mums, mine is kind of like that.
The best present a mother can receive is when she hears from strangers and people she hardly knows that her children are lovely, well-behaved, polite and gracious. That makes me feel like I've done something right, and I hope it holds its stead as they carry through to their yet to come turbulent teenage years. ( Though a little naughty is good sometimes for it shows character!)
And I will say that all the mum cliches hold water, but let's not forget the women we WERE (and ARE), before we became mums, for if we let that slide, I think it would make us lesser mums, at least that's what I think.
Happy Mother's Day, my fellow comrades!
Salut! For all the unconditional love you give your children!
And S, I and T my beloved sweethearts, I'll always be your mummy and you'll always be my babies!
Right now, I will climb back into bed as who knows, I might just get breakfast served in bed!
