Behind the Walled Villas: Bali Revisited

Bali Revisited : Behind the Walled Villas

I first came to Bali 17 years ago an impressionable young early twenty something with a very nice young man who was very keen to impress me. Needless to say, I saved him all the trouble of having to impress me further by marrying him a couple of years later.

Countless of holidays together and 3 children and a rock solid marriage of 15 years later, I have learned to why not, measure the worth of my marriage by using the metaphor of our travels and how we are with each other on each trip together.

Of course my better half now claims that 3.5 months into dating, I had conned him into coming to Bali 17 years ago with my sweet charm and demure ways(???)- we then stayed in a simple 3 star whose name eludes us now; it had a pool and a decent and clean air conditioned room and that was all it mattered. We had each other. And that bottle of Dom Perignon which he bought on the Singapore Airlines inflight store. Which only he drank. As his then girlfriend is still as lousy with alcohol as she was then.

Kuta was dusty then and quite primitive despite already having a Hard Rock Cafe and we had a lovely time. Taking photos, shopping & held hands a lot but mostly, we really enjoyed each other's company and laughed a lot. I think travelling with your boyfriend defines what kind of husband he would become. What a gentleman he is. How he takes care of the big things. Even though I have come to realise in the end that he is really a thrifty, coupon- loving man who doesn't really spend on frills, Or tip very much, I have learned that he's a truly good man, who looks after me well and will protect me at all costs. He's always polite and kind to the locals, the guides or the drivers .

On the other hand, I like my creature comforts which in my older age now may include a private villa with pool (and butler), if you like, and a generous tip for the boys or girls who often have to help lug my often heavy luggage. I don't mind eating in hotels or I occasionally order room service while he would cycle out( if the hotel doesn't offer him a bicycle) he would borrow one, and he would find the yummiest, cheapest eats that he can find and doggy bag it home to us. So though we sometimes like some fine dining, I am accustomed to the local flavours he brings back to us!

So Bali, I have come to realise or the metaphor of Bali is the essence of our marriage. We are the same people who were newly in love 17+ years ago as we are today.

We can now afford the private pool villa but we still love eating at warungs and ordering in from the local guy outside the nice resort.

I am much more discerning in my tastes in shopping- on our first trip together, god forbid, we looked at luna and solar themes candlesticks and bedspreads- what were we thinking??? We realised we both loved a good bargain and the thrill of the hunt, me more than him. But now we look at organic bamboo cotton or high-thread counts for linen and in buying less is more. These days he bonds with our son at the villa while our two girls and I have a gala time shopping together, stopping for foot spas along the way.

So, we have just spent a whole week in Bali- some say it's an overrated tourist trap but I would chose to see it as a metaphor of our marriage. It's our 5th trip here together to the island of the gods. We have eaten, prayed and loved.

I discovered an amazing female Indonesian author. He's still on a quest for the best bakso!!!

We have grown up together and our marriage has grown too. Our children are flourishing but very very close to each other and to us both.

We came here with my parents once & they bonded with the locals and both our girls.

On another trip, when I was 4 months pregnant with son, our eldest had her first 6 stitches as a 6 year old in Nusa Dua when her chin split open and she bled profusely all over her white pyjamas when she fell on the floor jumping from our bed to her trundle bed. We were in the Westin and luckily they had an in-house doctor. As she was being stitched up, all I could think of was: would her scar be noticeable when she had her first kiss? We survived that scare and enjoyed ourselves after that.

On our last trip here in 2010, we caught up with special friends and enjoyed our first villa stay in Ubud. The kids had a ball at the Bali Safari then.

On this trip- 8 days long- our longest, we met many Mades & (made friends with them) in taxis who took us to cool restaurants in Seminyak and one of the Mades became our more regular driver who showed us wider Bali.

Now, we know which Naughty Nuri's has the best ribs! We know the best barbecued corn vendor in Uluwatu. I can safely say I prefer Bebek Bengil to Bebek Tepi Sawah. And we know that the Balinese have a very gentle and relaxed soul. The club and restaurant scene in Seminyak has the vibes of Rio, Melbourne & Montmarte combined but with its own unique Balinese pizzazz. We discovered a great Mexican by chance and romanced at Kudeta. We checked out Potato Head and Sarong; loved the ambiance in Sarong, thought the crowd in Potatohead was slightly weird but always, always had a good time.

We have bonded with the kids- meaningful chats, games in the pool, reading, rewatching old episodes of Modern Family and new Nat Geo Wild, writing, more chats & laughter, had our first brief holiday with father in law and in very his young family & survived it, and have got to know each other a whole lot better. The kids haven't been on their iPod/ iPhone for days and the teen daughter hasn't even bothered with headphones and just read a lot!

This what travel does to you:

It dulls your senses but it also heightens to you as to what is well and truly important! The little big things as you break from your daily routine of work and school pressures.

Travel has defined our marriage in so many ways.

On that very first trip to Bali together newly met and newly together, we discovered each other, treaded carefully and were furtive in our mutual exploration. And saw how we could be as a cohesive unit, as intrepid travellers finding our way in this wonderfully blessed but also messed up universe.

And we have stayed intact that way all these years later, more travel smart & even more street-wise now; maybe even stronger through our numerous sojourns, escapades and experiences in this journey of life.

Through super sunsets, sunrises, starry nights, dances, dinners, vistas, views and wonderful company, Bali will beckon again.

August 2013